The Indiana attorney general said today he will ask the Indiana Supreme Court to hear a case that opens the door to adoption by unmarried couples, including same-sex couples. Two trial judges have disagreed on the case of Infant Girl W. v. Morgan County Office of Family and Children which revolves around the issue of whether two people who are not married may jointly petition for adoption. The Indiana Court of Appeals split 2-1 in their ruling last month in favor of allowing the adoptions.

I distinctly remember when I decided that two kids were enough. It was another 3:55 a.m. feeding and I had just fallen asleep (at 3) for the night. Young Malcolm woke up and I knew that I had a half hour of his voracious appetite to satisfy with my 6 am wake up looming all too near. There I was, bleary-eyed, watching a re-run of the X-Files wondering “how do single moms do it?” That was when my respect for my sister sky-rocketed.

I’ve spoken before about how I have a couple sets of friends who have adopted trans-racially. Both couples are looking at adopting another child. Though the process is expensive, the odds are pretty good that they’ll soon be adding to their respective growing families. In fact, my wife and I had talked about adoption as a way of fulfilling our original dream of having 3 – 5 children. The laws and rules favor us, making the process much easier. However, should one of us find themselves widowed, yet still wanting to pursue our dream, we would be barred from adopting.

I have another friend in her early forties, unable to have children of her own, with the prospects of her “finding a man” dimming (in her mind). Part of her doesn’t want to “wait on a man” to have kids and share the love she has to offer.

Yes, as a society, the two parent, mother and father, model is the best model for structuring a family. However, let’s not confuse it being the best model with being the only model of a family. America clings to such a narrow definition of family. Interesting for a culture that values kicking their young out of the nest as soon as possible and shuttling their parents into nursing homes at their earliest convenience. So let’s not pretend we have the final answer on what it means to be a family. Blood does not make you family. My circle of friends is more family to me than most of my blood kin.

There are far too many unwanted and discarded children out there now. We can’t in one breath say “give kids up for adoption rather than abort them” then in the next say “you may have love and fiscal means, but you don’t fit our idea of what a family is.” Family is about community. Family is about support. So if a single person has the love to give, the financial means, and a(n emotional/physical) support system around them, then by all means, let them adopt.

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