There is a reason that I watch most shows on videotape or on DVD. It’s because I hate commercials. They interrupt the story that I’m watching (even though I know the stories are written in such a way to allow for commercials, that’s still four minutes of dead space). My oldest son, all of four, is in the “daddy, I want that” time of life, so for what it counts, I’ve been using commercials as instructional time in “you can’t always get what you want” and “commercials are made to make you want things and that’s a trap you want to avoid.”

Burgerking However, the other night, during our Law and Order marathon, this commercial came on for Burger King’s newest product, Chicken Fries. Darius Rucker (how far the Hootie had fallen) in the cowboy suit was one thing, because I love singing and dancing black folk as much as the next person (and, frankly, I liked the commercial).

The object of my complaint, on the other hand, featured a cast of characters called the “BK Rebel Unit”, a band of crime-fighting, fast-food-eating black super heroes. Their mission? To bring Chicken Fries to the ‘hood. (And wouldn’t you know, I can’t find a picture of them anywhere on the Internet.)

If I were in one of my “Blacker-than-thou” moods, I would have made fun of them and there’s a good chance that I would have referred to them as the “Coon Unit”. Since I’m not, I’ll have to make due with making fun of the board of marketing executives that thought this was a good idea. I can almost see the board room full of pot smoke (cause someone had to be smoking something to let this pass as a good idea).


“Yep. That’s a great idea. It’s got everything. Black people. Fried chicken. You so brill.”

*exhales, coughs*

“You know what we need now? Watermelon slushies.”

“Totally brill.”

It was bad enough that Ronald McDonald is suddenly “down”.

As if clowns weren’t scary enough. Now I have to worry about Ronald going all “Wayne Brady on a ho”. Sure, I’m in a sensitive mood about how I see black people depicted lately. That being said, I’m gonna leave those Red Stripe commercials alone. Hooray Beer!

Comment on this bit of rantus interruptus anyway you want (I don’t know where you’re reading it from) but if you want to guarantee me seeing it, do so at my message board.