So I was checking out BlogPulse, or as I refer to it, a new way to Google yourself, just to play around and see how I rate. Found out, despite my delusions of what weight my voice may carry in the blogosphere, that I don’t rate all that much. I did stumble across my name in a curious stream of other nouns. At first I thought that I really rated and that porn sites were using my name to draw people to their sites. Turns out, there was a poem out there using my name in its rhyme scheme. And I’m just vain enough to be flattered.

vacation cruise ship
ed’s mom’s lucious lips
ill thoughts but i can’t contain
kay travis and the booty mainframe

don’t even battle the illest
cuz it’s suicide
astroglide as my guide
i get bigger with every stride

feminists beware cuz i’ll raise your hair
outside of the fruit loops schism that is squizm
now that the bar has been pulled
i’ll take a stab at you
pipsqueek shorty from white avenue
i’m your hollywood jesus
like maurice broaddus
i’ll edit your rhyme scheme like hokus pokus
elevate your weight till your thin as a wire
the illest is here and you call him sire.


I played around with some other buttons on BlogPulse. For grins and giggles, I did a Trend Search. BlogPulse Trend Search allows you to create graphs that visually track “buzz” over time for certain key words, phrases or links. Compare search terms/links in isolation, or use all three fields to compare search terms/links against others. I wanted to track how often “Maurice Broaddus” came up in conversation. Turns out, not very often.

It didn’t take me long to figure out where my “spike” came from. Maybe it does pay to guest blog for people others compare to phalluses.

Comment on this bit of rantus interruptus anyway you want (I don’t know where you’re reading it from) but if you want to guarantee me seeing it, do so at my message board.