Students to hospital after Axe body spray released at Medgar Evers College Preparatory School

Emergency crews went to a Brooklyn school to investigate a report of a hazardous smell — only to learn that someone released Axe body spray in a classroom.

2010 05-02-10  House - Brian, nice suitYou may think this is one of my random attacks on Brian Keene (see Brian Keene and Nick Mamatas are Dicks), but you have to know the history.  (Plus, he’s on a blogging hiatus and can’t argue back.)*

During an extended a Mo*Con visit , he “accidentally” left behind a bottle of Axe body wash. Yeah, I’m probably breaking the man code by revealing that Keene must enjoy smelling like a prepubescent boy drenched in perfume.

My sons, however, loved it.

They would slather on that stuff to the point where my wife once uttered the now famous-in-the-Broaddus-household line: “Get away from me, you’re burning my eyes.”

Flash-forward two years into our now mandatory Axe purchasing purgatory: the boys, being boys, had friends over and discovered the joys of puncturing aerosol cans. Yeah, you know where this is going. I come home from work to find my family on the lawn because the boys were playing “grenades” in the garage with a can of punctured Axe. My entire garage, three weeks later, still smells like an excited Justin Bieber fan.

It should be aired out by Mo*Con.

Thanks Keene.

*And I really wish I could find that pic of me and Keene dressed as Crocket and Tubbs because that would be the perfect pic for this blog post. You’ll have to make do with him as Crocket. It could be worse: I could be posting the pics of us in dresses, but no one wants to see that again.