I’m not going to apologize for this blog turning personal. It’s my blog. Sometimes I just have to use it as my own therapy, though it’s rare that I write about what should be personal and private issues. Especially when it seems like I should be tending to other issues. But you do what you have to do in order to move forward:
Yes, I’ve stepped down from leadership at the Dwelling Place.
Yes, I’ve made a wreck of many of my relationships and have a lot of work ahead of me if there’s to be any kind of reconciliation.
Yes, Mo*Con is still going on.
Yes, I blew up my old message board. I do have new a small hang out space on Brian Keene’s board.
And I’m writing. It’s not always going to be so personal, but this space has always been about what I’m thinking through. As it stands, I’ve barely gotten these blogs posted and my inbox is filling up. I don’t think I can face it right now, but I’ll leave you with this message I received from a friend (I’ve been on the phone all week and STILL owe a few people a call):
big tight hug silently claiming all of God’s promises for his children who love him,
who love him imperfectly but love him nonetheless, as he continues to love us.
in spite of ourselves.
praying for Christ’s light to pierce through palpable darkness.rage.grief.destitution,
praying for an increased measure of faith to minister to unbelief, self-pity, self-mutilation, self-loathing & loathing,
praying for hope,
your sister in Christ who needs God’s grace & mercy as much as the next person,
you are loved.
it’s absolutely true, you don’t deserve it…none of us do.
don’t forget to read the end of that sentence, maurice. NONE of us do.
Christ sees us in all of our crapulence
and whispers and shouts and assures us
and waits for us to remember & believe that
yes, we are loved.
And yes, crapulence is now my new favorite theological term.
Secret Lives, Secret Shame