LANSING, Mich. — A state forensics scientist who said she tested DNA in her husband’s underwear to find out whether he was cheating could be disciplined if investigators determine she violated the use of state equipment.

Things shouldn’t have to get to this point. I mean, seriously, if the day you find yourself rifling through your man’s dirty drawers to find out where he’s been and who he’s been doing it with, you may have to ask yourself “how did I get here?” Maybe you should start asking yourself a few questions while dating:

Are you living in your mother’s basement or otherwise sponging off folks to make your way through life?
-He ain’t supporting you or a family any time soon. I don’t care what he says. At best, wait til he decides to grow up.

Is he is cutting you off or alienating you from your friends?
Listen to your friends. You don’t have time to this much controlling behavior, especially this early on.

If he refuses to treat you in a way you deserve to be treated?
-You don’t need him. Seriously, you are better off on your own. You are to be appreciated not abused.

Does he have issues telling the truth or making promises he can’t keep?
-Quit asking him. One of you needs to find the door.

If he tells you he’s just not that into you?
-Believe him. That might qualify as a deal breaker.

If you find out he has yet another chick on the side?
-Yet another? You know what, we haven’t had the infidelity talk yet. I’m going to have to think through this one (and, uh, find away to not come off as a screaming hypocrite, mind you)

By the way, if during the course of the break up, you feel the overwhelming need to humiliate him on MySpace (I keep getting all these friend requests from women who want to get even with their boyfriends by posting naked pictures of themselves) or something …

… change your password. Your e-mail password too. They have those “mark as unread” buttons for a reason. I’m just saying. Don’t let it get to the “rummaging through piles of his soiled undies” stage of things. That’s no place to be.

If you want to make sure that I see your comment or just want to stop by and say hi, feel free to do so on my message board. I apologize in advance for some of my regulars.