Ladies, have you ever wondered how it is that I’m able to continue to write this column in a way that seems to continually resonate with you? Sure, we could blame it on the fact that I have many, many, many female friends have to listen to their constant complaints, uh, observations about men and dating. It could also be that I end up in many situations you can relate to: I’ve been asked to be, well, the matron of honor in a friend’s wedding.

Actually this will be my second time as the matron of honor in a friend’s wedding (and, by the way, all of you funny folks who want to see me in a dress, the official title of a guy standing on the bride’s side is honor attendant. I don’t have to wear a dress. So far, I haven’t even had to hold the bouquet). The lady in question is one of my oldest and dearest friends (we met a year before Jon and I if that gives you any idea of how long I tend to keep friends around). I even served as her La Maz coach and, as my wife can now attest, I am comedy gold in the delivery room.

Anyway, this has gotten me thinking about how many weddings I have been a part of, since I know this is a concern for many folks. I have one friend who treats weddings like moving her friends: after a certain age, you shouldn’t have to do them anymore. I have another friend who refuses to be a part of any wedding until her own. All told, I’ve been a part of 15 weddings. Breaking down the math:

9 times as a groomsman
–> 5 times as the best man (or honor attendant)
3 times as an usher
2 times performing the service
1 time as the groom

On the flip side, I have some friends who have never been a part of a wedding. This is what resonates most with me and why I almost always take part in weddings when asked. To me, it’s an honor. Sure, it’s also a headache (getting a tux, not a dress, having to organize the bachelorette party, etc), but it’s about the relationship. I have never understood folks who complain about having to be in weddings. This is someone who has meant a lot to me and the feeling must be mutual because she wants me standing by her side on her special day.

If that’s not the case, say no. I’ve had to say no to a couple of folks before (only one of which I came to regret). However, even in that case, it was because I didn’t think we were close enough or had even known each other long enough for me to be standing by his side (it goes back to the idea of instant intimacy: I had only known him a few months at the time … and it was a little weird to go from acquaintance to best man). Like I said, this is a judgment call because only you know the nature of your relationships.

I might as well make my peace with weddings now rather than later. After shooting off my mouth about family always growing, I have several weddings in my future. And I will consider it a blessing to be a part of the most important day in my family’s lives.

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