Relationships have certain milestones. The first date. The first kiss. Meeting the folks. Markers that indicates an ever deepening of the relationship. I get that folks get all these romantic notions about relationships, and try to live out all the ideas they’ve had stored up in their heads about how relationships should work.

Now, can I ask you something? When should one person back the heck off?

There were times when I was known to power date in my day. I was in one relationship where we’d do 6-8 hour dates five times a week. Actually, five times in one week. Here’s a shock, we got burned out on each other. You know what? It’s easy to smother a person. We become eager to be around them, want to spend time with them, rarely do we stop to think about how much is too much. A lot of times it’s for seemingly good reasons, but there can still be shadows of pressure when:

-they may want to constantly take care of you
-they may want to see you all the time
-they may want to call you all the time
-they may not be able to get enough of you
-they may want to talk about marriage a couple times a week

Look, I doubt I am unusual in this, but I need me some me time. You probably need some you time. At the very least, go away so that I can miss you and better appreciate the time we have together. No one should have to get to the point where they loathe hearing the phone ring for fear that it might be you.

People move at different relational speeds and they aren’t always on the same page, which is one reason why channels of communication are so important and need to be always open. You need to mention when you’re feeling smothered. If they don’t know, they don’t have the opportunity to do anything about it.

There might be some hurt and some awkwardness, but it’s always best to maintain clear lines of communications. Admit how you feel. Above all, just talk. Don’t feel guilty that you and your significant other aren’t at the same emotional place. There will be times you are more into the relationship and there will be times your S.O. will be more into things. You aren’t in a race. Dating should be enjoyed. It is the process of getting to know each other. It shouldn’t be rushed. Give it room to breathe.

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