Here’s the thing: you hit that magical milestone we call 30 or you feel the ticking of a certain biological imperative or you otherwise find yourself “alone” when all of your friends are married and you may start to ask yourself a few questions.

Is there something wrong with me?
Who cares? There’s something wrong with everyone. Don’t get me wrong, self-examination is important. If you keep making poor decisions in choosing dating partners, you need to figure out why.

Am I not married because of past mistakes?
Again this points to a “God hiding in the bushes waiting to smite us when we screw up” mentality that we have of God or, just as bad, marriage as some kind of reward. Look, -if marriage is a reward for the life someone has lived, my wife should repent.

This is part of the tension of being patient vs. acting in faith … and learning to be content where you are. God is all I need (um, okay, if that works for you. He can only metaphorically embrace you). Don’t let people counsel you into “Jesus only”. One of my favorite book titles I’ve seen goes something like “If Jesus is my Husband, Why Does My Bed Feel Empty?” We have relational needs (Genesis 2:18 and Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 are but two examples that point to our need for companionship).

It’s important to be content in your circumstances (Philippians 4:11), but some people define content as relinquished desire to marry (read: given up). It’s not an either/or: you can both be content with your singleness and desire marriage. It’s alright to keep looking. Having eyes and seeking opportunity is not being discontent; unless you are doing so as your sole mission in life. Instead, be preparing yourself for marriage by becoming ever more Christ-like. Do the things He’s called you to do and be.

The danger of discontent is that frustration and impatience can lead to forcing things and settling. And “’til death do us part” is a long time with someone you’ve only settled for.

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