Back in my single days, in my early twenties, I helped found a local branch of the Bachelors Til the Rapture (it’s the church equivalent of the “He Man Women Hater’s Club” that basically said we’ll be single until most of you get Left Behind). In my later twenties, I was a member of the Corner of the Roof Crew (there’s a Bible proverb that reads “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” –Proverbs 21:9. I still have the T-shirt).

It’s easy to see how such a stance develops. Some of it is the frustration of being alone and coping with it by embracing it in defiance. Some of it might be the false bravado of being at a certain place in life, wanting to date and have a relationship, but the reality of it seeming distant for a variety of reasons:

-personal circumstances may limit options. You may take the dating process so seriously that the likely prospects are (seem) slim. Some people have lists/standards/criteria of things that are important to them and critical for any relationship they will be in. Other have simply exercised their right to be picky, realizing that they have specific needs and wants and don’t want to waste anyone’s time or hurt them emotionally.

-life circumstances might prevent it in any practical sense. School, career, family situations (especially for care-takers) can make demands of one’s time to the point of not being able to have much of a life outside of them.

In other words, they may want to date, but only when it’s right for them and fair to the other person.

Also, let’s not forget that single folks are subject to constant questions about the state of their dating life. Such “Single Forever!” power stances are convenient ways to comically deflect what amounts to casual invasions of privacy deemed socially acceptable. It’s not like folks want to open up to just anyone about their dating stances. So if folks aren’t going to leave you alone, and you don’t want to keep having to explain your business (or in response to well-intentioned platitudes), they may get the pro-single mantra.

Looking back, only one member is keeping the dream alive of the Bachelors Til the Rapture and all of the Corner of the Roof Crew are married and have had to buy SUVs for all of their car seats. I’m left with a legacy of having a heart for singles and singles ministry. Go figure.

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