I’m exhausted.

I’ll admit, I’m a constantly on the run sort of guy. Like many folks, I feel like one of those plate-spinners, constantly running back and forth, trying to keep the various plates of interest going, while thinking about trying to figure out a way to add another plate or two.

There is all sorts of church stuff going on, such as the details of our move. Since transitions present opportunities to re-imagine, we’ve been thinking through our ministries and brainstorming how to implement our vision and values.

Friends have been having on-going drama and we’ve been sorting through the mess of life together.

I have worries that I’m taking my family for granted and working on loving them better. I’ve been working on being more present for them when I’m around. Then there’s the pressure of the holiday season as we gear up for our annual Broaddus family Christmas party and prepare to navigate the minefield of in-laws during the holiday season.

On top of all of that, I’m not feeling 100% physically. Our cars have been breaking down. There are mounting bills. You know, life.

It’s easy to become busy for its own sake, trapped in a spiral of running around until you forget why it is you’re running in the first place. Rest goes against the credo of how we value hard work in (the mythological story of) America. Rest has come to be seen as akin to laziness, to the point where we neglect taking care of ourselves. I think that’s part of the lesson of the Sabbath, the day of rest.

Now, I suck at taking Sabbaths. Taking time off caught up in (the myth I tell myself in) the belief that if I don’t do these things, who will? Forgetting that there needs to be time to disengage and recover, time to pamper your soul and be renewed if we’re going to be effective long term rather than simply running ourselves into the ground.

We can only operate out of our own strength for so long before the physical demands of the daily grind sap our energy. Before the daily dings of life’s constant drama drains our emotional reserves. Before our minds, always growing, assimilating information, have our mental energy depleted to the point of our acuity, keenness, and insight being dulled. Before our spiritual energy, our fuel for being, is emptied.

Part of capturing a vision of Christ for your life is learning to rest in Him rather than constantly running around for Him. At least that’s the lesson I’m trying to learn.

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