My boyfriend is FOINE!!!, and I love looking at him. However, he’s also one of the kindest, sweetest men I have ever met in all my life. That may have a little to do with how physically attractive I find him to be, too. It’s all connected, for me.

But, I believe men will ALWAYS go with what looks good to them, initially, so I won’t waste my time talking about a woman’s “inner beauty”, cuz if the guy doesn’t think a woman’s attractive, he’s not going to be willing to get to know her, and see if her looks get better to him. Guys just don’t do that, in my experience. While I believe a guy can “grow on” a woman, if he’s got what it takes emotionally/spiritually and intellectually (and for some, financially) and he doesn’t look like a complete troll, I don’t believe a woman can “grow on” a man, as easily.

I also know that a man can look like the bottom of a dirt pond, but he’ll always try to holla at a super model type. Guys don’t seem to stop and consider that just like they rule certain women out, because they’re not “hot” enough, women do the same thing. If you ain’t fine yourself, and you have no other “drawing” factors, like a working brain, above average intellect, or mad cash, you ain’t got no business only goin’ after model types. If you got a loose gut, don’t be demandin’ that your date look like a workout queen. If you ain’t receivin’ offers to pose for GQ, then don’t be lookin’ for Vogue cover candidates. If you happen to luck out, then praise God! But guys don’t seem to have a realistic grip on the whole looks thing.

Yeah, I don’t really have anything to add to that, actually. Pretty much sums up my thoughts and I wanted an excuse to post her comments.

Superman Syndrome vs. the Barbie Complex

A concerned friend of mine came up to me after one of our meetings with the following concern: most women are looking for a superman. I, of course, responded that my wife deserved and found Superman, why shouldn’t other women? Narrowing his concern, he speculated (because let’s face it, when you aren’t having the best of luck, you start speculating on what the other sex wants as if they know) that women, especially women in a Christian singles group, are looking for a man who is: involved in church, a professional, a handy man, and a family man. Problem one, which I didn’t point out to him out of pity, was that the list he proffered wasn’t exactly asking for the location of King Solomon’s mines. It’s not exactly an intimidating list, yet some guys feel that in order to compete they have to be part pastor, part tool man, part corporate executive, handsome, and funny.

Well, frankly, if you were all of that, I’d date you.

Men aren’t off the hook, the problem runs both ways. An awful lot of men are convinced that they need, want, deserve Barbie on their arm. Mind you, this is no matter what the guy in question looks like. I’ve listened to many a guy wax on about what attributes “his woman” (any usage of this phrase is always a tell-tale sign, ladies, of what you are getting into) must have. I’m convinced that all the mirrors in their houses must be broken. Leaving women feeling like they have to be part swim suit model, chef, Bible study leader, sex goddess/slut and mother in order to be noticed. I’d make a comment about how I’d date you, but well, chances are I’m within striking distance of my wife.

Just remember, nice teeth can’t raise kids. Good shoes won’t cook you dinner. And a fine (insert body part of choice) won’t take care of you when you’re sick.

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