On the heels of my doing a South Park marathon, I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve been catching up on Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. According to Lucien, I’m getting in touch with my inner gay*. I have no idea why other than it’s summer time and I need to watch something until I get my copy of The Boondocks Season Two on DVD.

Anyway, that’s not my point. I’m a man of vision. Kathy has three assistants whom she calls “Team Griffin.” I’ve decided that I need a Team Broaddus. I already have three assistants: Ro, Jenn, and Lauren**. And whereas Kathy has, you know, money to pay them, I get to throw phrases like “this is ministry work”, which is church code for “you ain’t getting paid”.

I can’t wait to start yelling “Company meeting!” before or after church.

*For the record, I have at no point yelled “Where are my gays?” whenever I walk into a new place.

**Obviously my wife wants no part of this. Apparently being married to me is penance enough. Plus, I experimented once with having a bell that I would ring whenever I wanted to summon her. I’m still walking funny after that incident.

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