[Snarked from Black Folks]


GET A PENCIL AND PAPER BEFORE YOU START THIS.
BE truthful!

1. You’ve ever used an album cover for a dustpan. (5 points)

2. If you’ve ever run a race barefoot in the middle of the street. (10 points)

3. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady)

4. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each)

5. If you have ever had to walk to school or walked home from school. (2 points)

6. If you have ever used dishwashing liquid for bubble bath. (5 points)

7. If you ever mixed Kool-Aid one glass at a time because you got tired of other people drinking up the Kool-Aid you just made. (5 points)

8. If you have ever played any of the following games: hide and go seek, freeze, tag, Momma may I? or red light/green light. (2 points each)

9. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man. (2 points + 2 if he rang a bell)

10. If you refer to “Now and Later” candies as “Nighladers”. (5 points)

11. If you’ve ever run from the police on foot. (5 points + 5 if you got away)

12. If you’ve ever had reusable bacon grease in a container on your stove. (5 points + 15 if you still do it)

13. The batteries in your remote control ever been held in by a piece of tape. (5 points)

14. If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge. (1 point each):

15. You’ve ever used Tussy. (5 points)

16. You’ve never been to the dentist. (15 points)

17. If you have a friend or family member whose nickname is one word said twice: dee-dee, fee-fee, man-man, Kay-Kay, lee-lee, ree-ree, ray-ray, nay-nay, etc. (10 points)

18. You have ever paged yourself for any reason. (3 points)

19. You’ve ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (2 points)

20. You add “ED” or “T” to the end of words already in the past tense (for example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc.) (5 points)

21. You use ‘n’em to describe a certain group of people ( for example Craig’n’em or Momma ‘n’em). (5 points)

22. You’ve ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat. (5 points)

23. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking it. (10 points)

24. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair. (10 points)

25. You’ve ever left a social gathering with a plate. (2 points)

26. You can’t hold a glass because of the length of your nails. (5 points)

27. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words. (10 points)

28. You don’t have your own place but your child has a leather coat and a pair of Jordan’s. (15 points)

29. You constantly hit *69 and ask, “Did you just call here?” (10 points)

30. You think Tupac is still alive. (20 points)

31. If you are going to have to use a calculator to add your points. (25 points)


TEST RESULTS:

0 – 50 points – I guess you were raised in the suburbs

51 – 75 points – A bonafide ex-hood rat

76 – 150 points – Spent a little time in the projects, huh?

150 points or more – Still there, huh?

*******
I pointedly refused to break out my calculator to add up my score and still ended up at 89. For the record, I know many of my redneck friends would score pretty high on this also.

###
Comment on this bit of rantus interruptus anyway you want (I don’t know where you’re reading it from) but if you want to guarantee me seeing it, do so at my message board.