I thought I’d go ahead and establish a beachhead between Halloween and Thanksgiving in order to solidify our hold against further incursions.* Last year, I was completely unaware that we were at war and was totally confused by all the references to this shadow war revolving around the celebration of the birth of my savior.
I will not be caught unawares again!
This is a war on two fronts: those who want to secularize Christmas (by referring to it as “holidays”) and those who wish to stretch Christmas into Halloween. So we must have a careful deployment of our forces.
Granted, my savior knows how to rock a party. We see that from the Scriptures: do we see Buddha changing water into beer? No! Turning water into wine demonstrates that my savior knows how to keep a party going.** So I’m positive it was his intent to turn the occasion of his birth into a two month commercial spectacle that demands absolute fealty.***
First they take prayer out of school. Then they continue to persecute us by now allowing us to be the sole occasion being celebrated this time of year. Absorbing Yule and declaring December our base of operations is not enough.
Take that you solstice-stanitas!
*Cleary I am not under deadline for anything at the moment.
**My attempts to go from celebrating my birthday to celebrating my entire gestation period have so far gone ignored.
***Personally, I never understood the whole 12 days of Christmas thing. I just chalked up folks fascination with birds as gifts as one of those “cultural differences”/”white people things”, much like their love of cheese and NASCAR.