Why – Chapter 1
(A Lament by Ro Broaddus)

Was it that lie I told?
Was it my impure thought?
Did my words need more contemplation before they leapt from my depths?
For You’ve chosen me, Lord.
Perhaps my sacrifice is for the benefit of my generations.
Ultimately? I’m unsure.
But I’m clawing my way through Your jungles,
And treading my way through Your quicksand.
I try shielding myself from the storm cloud,
And dodging the bullets from Your strife-laden rifle,
But to no avail.
Memories are daggers, struggles – Your television.
Now my body is tired.
My soul is full,
My spirit exhausted.
My future is hazy,
My world, a maze.
At one turn death excites me,
At another, a glimmer of a sliver of light escapes the cracks of my psyche.
Lord, I’m now at the end of Your leash,
Waiting for You to guide me.
I must accept the rain,
For without rain, there is no growth,
And without growth there is no life.
I had convinced me that You were a sham,
Then You let me live.

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