1) When I was 15 yo I had a rod surgically implanted in my back to correct scoliosis and can’t do everything a “fully able” person could
2) Even if I could, I’m no longer a young man and whatever athletic prime I had is in the rearview mirror
3) It doesn’t make sense for me to compete with my 15 yo son in any sort of athletic endeavor
4) I accept the fact that it’s not all worth it because I did beat him (but I *did* win … though I know that’s not the point)
5) Next time my wife says “we should call someone” I should listen to her sooner (I am writing that one under duress)
6) EMTs and firemen (yeah, there was quite the production of them trying to get me out of our tiny hallway … don’t ask … the first one to make an “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up comment gets blocked) and NURSES all rock. And doctors, too, but special shout out to the nurses (because I have so many in my life including a mother, sister, and several of my closest friends)
7) Yes, my family takes pictures of everything. Luckily I’m subscribed to all of my children’s social media accounts for this very reason.
8) Yes, the no social media while medicated policy is probably for the best (looking back, I can see that naming my catheter and spinning a series of secret adventures with it my not be the best look for my image)
8a) Yes, there was a flashback to the previous catheter incident.
9) Yes, I begrudgingly accept that I am responsible for the “Broaddus Family Comedy Hour” tour that followed me and that mocking me at every turn is their way of showing support. My family has jokes, needless to say the EMT, nurses, and doctors loved us.
10) Thank you all for your well wishes and prayers (even the rest of my friends/family who ALSO had jokes).
11) I am blessed and humbled (of course, there are several catheter stories that could explain the sudden onset humility, but I know, I know, not while medicated).