It is with great regret that I have to turn in my resignation as Nick Kaufmann’s nemesis.

You see, in my errant youth, um, all of this past February, I formally announced that It’s a little known fact that every writer should have an arch-nemesis. I’ve chosen Nick Kaufmann as mine. I’ve dedicated myself to stopping his evil wherever it rears its head. Apparently I have been going about this whole nemesis thing the wrong way. Once again, coinciding with my recent epiphany on stalkers, I’ve had to re-think my role as Kaufmann’s nemesis.

I’d link you to my self-declared “adversary”’s LiveJournal, but then you’d blame me for showing you the ramblings and well, why give my adversary that much more exposure. I think we’d all be better off ignoring some of the exposure seeking trolls in the horror writing community trying to make a name for themselves by besmirching others. Unless they rise to the level of being threatening, then have at them. Mine isn’t even to the level of annoyance, but this person has given me the occasion to question a few things.

Apparently I’ve been going about the nemesis thing all wrong. I look forward to Kaufmann’s appearances in City Slab and Cemetery Dance, with plans on purchasing those appearances. I’m capable of missives that are short, on point, and adhere to the accepted rules of grammar. Though he no longer hangs out regularly on as many message boards, I don’t haunt his LiveJournal, jamming it up at his every post. I don’t have “off my meds” moments causing me to send him multiple e-mails a day, including research/links to esoteric topics that he has little to no interest in.

And I’m guessing that I’m a better dresser.

So, I hereby resign as Nick Kaufmann’s nemesis. The position is now available to all interested parties. I still, however, retain the Nick Mamatas chair in our Indiana chapter of the Horror Writer’s Association. They luvs me.

[Um, so that there’s not misunderstanding, for the record, I relish my adversary because this person makes my life interesting (read: don’t read this as an attack – I don’t want to come home to find my cat in a pot or something).]

Comment on this bit of rantus interruptus anyway you want (I don’t know where you’re reading it from) but if you want to guarantee me seeing it, do so at my message board.